Today's Top News - Thursday, August 07, 2008
Twisted News Satire
funny news satire article

NCAA To Replace March Madness With 65 Consecutive UNC-Duke Games

January 1, 2008

By Rob Jones

Early Wednesday morning, in a nationally televised press conference, NCAA president Miles Brand announced plans to simplify the NCAA Men's Division One Championship from a 65-team, single elimination tournament into a 65 game, head-to-head tournament between two teams, University of North Carolina and Duke University.

"The fans have spoken, and we are going to give them what they want...one straight month of the highest quality college basketball this nation has ever seen, two games a night. At last, the age old question will be answered, who is the best and who is the second best team in the nation," said Brand.

Play Online Poker
Play Online Poker

Full Tilt Poker still allows U.S. players to play online poker.

Historically, March Madness has included all 65 Division I men's basketball teams. "I really think this will be a great improvement for college basketball as we know it," continued Brand, "because let's face it, it's going to be Duke or UNC, right? Personally, I can't wait to see these two top seed teams go up against each other, and what better way to determine a division champion than a best 33 out of 65 playoff? This is bound to be the most exciting March Madness ever."

Reactions to the change have been mixed, although many fans are anxiously awaiting this year's road to the Final Four. Ben Paulson, of Austin, TX can hardly contain himself, "I already have most of my bracket filled out. I'm still a little undecided on the second round. But Duke's definitely a shoe-in for Games 5-8, and it's gotta be the Tarheels in Game 37."

Said Leslie Moonves, President and Chief Executive Officer of CBS Corporation, "this is a monumental move for college basketball. Yes, we will be the sole televisors for the 65 March Madness games, but it's not about the money. It's about bringing fans of the sport of basketball what they want. Incidentally, if you are interested in advertising, our audience profile is predominantly male, ages 25-54, college graduates, with an average household income of $75,000 plus yearly. But no, I'm getting off the subject. Really, it's all about the money. Oh, sorry...fans, I meant fans. No, really, I meant fans."

Duke is favored 6 to 5 in Game 1.

Rate this article

Consensus: 4 Stars