Yeah, My Reviews Might Suck, But MY Meal Is Tax Deductible

January 24, 2008

By Jerry Howard

That's right. Uncle Sam can't touch my happy ass. Sure, my restaurant reviews might be total crap, but my meal is a damn deduction. Isn't America great?

I know you're jealous. Sure, you might say things like, "Jerry, you should just quit. I can get a better review of this restaurant by taking a whiff of the chef's anus," but I know you're actually jealous. You know why? Because YOU paid for your dinner.

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That's right. Every scrumptious morsel is beyond the reach of the greedy tax man's grimy little hand. I'm dining on Big Brother's dollar. While the rest of you while away your hard-earned cash, I'm living on easy street.

No waiting in line for my reservation. I'm the damn food critic. I'm V.I.P. Can you spell that? That's right.

One mention of this prime rib in my review, and it's a business expense. So you know what? Blow me, all of you critics. I'm hungry for steak.