India/Pakistan Declare Peace: "We Can't Remember What We Started Fighting About"

February 9, 2008

By Rob Jones

In a surprising move, leaders from the oft-warring countries, India and Pakistan, have concluded peace talks, declaring peace.

Pervez Musharraf, president of Pakistan, and Pratibha Patil, president of India, recently attended a news conference addressing the announcement.

Reporters questioned the two, asking why the sudden change? Pratibha began, "Well, we were on the phone having one of our typical arguments. He was saying something like, in the name of Allah, we will slay all of you infidels." Musharaff, chuckling, interrupted, "yes, yes, and then she said, "screw you, you Paki bastard!"

Musharaff continued, "well, it continued like that for five or ten minutes. We kept throwing insults back and forth, ignoring what the other had to say. Eventually, though, Pratibha said, you know, do you remember what started all this? I thought about that for a moment, and I honestly couldn't recall."

Pratibha said, "we had all this pent up frustration, and we decided we were projecting onto each other and should really just try to listen more closely to what the other is feeling."

"Yes, and the whole Kashmir business," continued Pratibha. "I mean Kashmir is kind of a shithole anyway. Clearly there was an underlying issue there."

The two nations have also resolved they won't argue when drunk and will not go to bed angry.

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