Three Lost Characters Commit Suicide After Discovering Gilligan's Corpse

February 2, 2008

By Rob Jones

In the season finale of Lost, three characters commit suicide after massive mental breakdowns following the discovery of the corpse of Gilligan from the 1960's CBS hit television show, Gilligan's Island.

The three characters in the CBS television drama, Jack, Sawyer, and Hurley, each successively commit suicide after stumbling upon a grave marked "Gilligan - Rest In Peace Little Buddy." Plans for the show's future remain unclear.

Hurley is found in a pool of his own vomit, dead from a self-induced heart attack, after gorging himself on 2 gallons of mayonnaise from his secret food stash.

Sawyer is found on the beach, his wrists slit, with a note revealing to everyone that he is, in fact, gay.

And finally, Jack, after fellow island inhabitants are unable to console him, runs around wildly for 15 minutes screaming, "Nothing's ever good enough for you, is it, Dad!?!" prior to hurling himself off a cliff.

The Skipper, Mary Anne, and the Professor's bodies were not recovered.

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