Teenagers Die In Tragic Accident, Darwinian Triumph

January 23, 2008

by Rob Jones

A group of three teenagers died Saturday evening in an event referred to by many as a tragic accident, and by many others as an outstanding manifestation of natural selection.

Following a late night keg party, the three youngsters sped away in a Jeep Wrangler, allegedly "playing chicken" with oncoming traffic. The alcohol fueled antics resulted in the Jeep rolling off the side of an embankment, ejecting all three seatbelt-less teens from the vehicle. All three minors were pronounced dead upon arrival of the paramedics.

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"It's so sad when this happens... although, you gotta admit, they kind of had it coming," said one neighbor of the irony-void occurrence.

The incident has resulted in quite a buzz throughout the Darwinian Theorist community.

One local theorist commented excitedly, "It's not often that you find such a shining example of survival of the fittest! Charles Darwin and Herbert Spencer would be giving each other high fives right now."

Funeral services will be held this Sunday. The Darwinian Theorist celebration will be held Friday evening.